OK, Sunshine State ... things ain't lookin' so stormy now. You can breathe. Mr. Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is about to sign the balanced state budget and get things chugging again on the West Coast. Sure, the government's about as able to stick to the budget as a greased earthworm on a newly-waxed floor, but at least they tried.

I remember the bad ol' days when I was going broke, baby ... before I started making my own budget. Too much month left at the end of the dough. I felt like I'd been given a raw deal. Creditors and predators chasing after me. One time, I even had to go commando for a few days when my washing machine broke. I tell you, I thought I was at the end of days and I was running, man.

But just sticking to the numbers got me through. When you know how to spend the cash, and follow it, it's like a flashlight when the power goes out. It shows you exactly what to do. Get with it, jack.

Smell those roses? Taste that chocolate? That's right, baby ... Valentine's Day is here again. And seeing as how they're free, you don't get any more bang for the buck than with some Dave Ramsey pickup lines. Use 'em with caution, jack.

You look familiar ... didn't I deliver a pizza to you last week?

You're so hot you could melt my debt snowball.

Good thing I have identity theft insurance, because you stole my heart!

Call me your mutual fund, honey ... 'cause with you, I'm showing interest.

Are you unpaid credit card debt? Because you have got FINE written all over you!

If you turn me down, my life will look like a country song.

Broken heart? Well, there's a great place to go when your heart is broke ... out with me.

When I saw you, my jaw dropped like the value of a new car.

You should be my retirement plan ... you'd put the "OK" in my 401k.

You look so good, I could sell you on eBay!