I just about pasted the floor with my jaw this morning, jack. Hundreds of billions of bailout bucks are being dished out by the feds with this new stimulus package, and everybody wants a piece of the action. Well, almost everyone.

Check this out, baby ... a bunch of the local banks that applied for bailout money are putting crime scene tape around the dough and staying away. Why, you ask? Because there are more strings attached to it than a puppet show with kites. The DC stiffsuits are going to own those banks and then some. We're talking about owning stock, cutting shareholder dividends, the works.

You know something's up when even the banks are backing away from Big Brother. To them, this deal is as sweet as sucking a lemon. If these banks can solve their problems without looking for help from a leech, so can you. Get on a budget, deep-six that debt and watch the suckers on TV deal with all the trouble. Because by then, you'll be smooth sailing.

Off with a bang, baby. 2009 is polished up, on the showroom floor and ready for a test drive. I was making up my resolutions for this year last night, and something didn't feel right. Couldn't put my finger on it. Then out of nowhere, it hit me like a pistol whip from my buddy's uncle Vinny. The real winners make GOALS, not resolutions.

Resolutions fizzle out like a car that runs out of gas. As soon as we get through January and close to Valentine's Day, a New Year's resolution is left in the dust. That ain't gonna be me, jack. When DT sets a goal, it's set in stone and gets done.

Try this in '09 ... figure out the GOAL you want to hit by year's end. Don't just commit to lose the pesky 20 pounds or get out of debt. Do that stuff and more. Read some books, spend more time with the partner and kids, give more dough and what not. Then break it down by months, and then weeks, then days. Figure out what you need to do TODAY. Anybody can fight the battles of one day, no matter where the fight is. Make 2009 count. Til Monday, I'm out.