Somebody needs to buy this bo a beer, baby. But even then, he probably wouldn't chug it, because he's now a United States Marine. Check this. Ulysses Milana wanted to become one of the few and the proud. But when a few good men took a look at him, they told him that he needed to drop a Backstreet Boy off his 330-pound frame before he could suit up.

He could've gone home, fired up the TV and watched some American Idol reruns. He could have gone to the store and stocked up on chips and salsa. But you know what he did? He got on a diet, started exercising, cut out the brews and burgers, and bada-bing, bada boom ... he's in shape and ready to serve his country after bumping off 140 pounds. And he doesn't need to be thanking NutriSystem or anybody else. Just himself and The Man Upstairs.

Not getting your act together? Shut up and do it. You got no excuse.

Time to tackle the economy. As it turns out, that's what most joes and jills think that Obama will be able to fix. A tall, frosty 72 percent of people polled are confident that Mr. BO will be able to pick the economy up, dust it off and make it head for higher ground.

Here's another stat for you, jack ... 5 out of 4 people can't do math. When did Washington fix anything? On top of that, how does YOUR deal get better if some bub that you never met 1,500 miles away gets a tax credit on his small business? Forget about being president 44 ... it'll be until president 392 before DC gets anything D-O-N-E.

Only economy you need to get a handle on is the one where the mail is addressed to you. Let the newsboys scream and cry about how Wall Street is taking a nose dive into an empty pool. Once you have no debt and a big wad of cash saved up, none of that's gonna matter, baby. Wait ... it doesn't matter now. Get the point?

Might as well call it short-Circuit City, baby. Check this out ... the city of circuits is over a barrel with a bunch of its suppliers. They owe big-time dough to some little joes like Hewlett-Packard, Sony, Samsung, Toshiba, Nikon and a half-dozen others.

So what happens? Those guys threaten to play hardball and put the squeeze on CC, withholding their products until they pony up the dough. Circuit City's in a mess, and they had to file Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection just to keep their heads above water during December and not sink with the cement shoes they fit themselves with by using debt.

If they don't have debt, they don't get up to their wall sockets in trouble, jack. Sure, they say they're gonna stay open during the holidays, but companies don't file BK when things are rosy. If they operate with cash, then they'll have more green than a field full of Christmas trees. Learn from it, jack.