I was 6 figures in the hole when I started my total money makeover, baby. I had a mountain to climb and nothing but my bare hands to do it with. I thought I had it rough. Then I log on this morning and read about Ivan Castro. This Special Forces unit joe got tagged with a mortar shell in September 2006. When he woke up 6 weeks later in a hospital, he was blind.

But guess what? He's right back in the mix, preparing for missions. He works out, ran the Boston marathon earlier this year and is shooting for the Ironman triathlon in Hawaii, all the while he's making plans to graduate from the Army's officer advanced course.

Don't tell me you can't overcome whatever junk you've got going on in your life or debt, jack. If this guy can take a hit like this and get right back out there, you can get a part-time job throwing pizzas to deep-six your debt. Quit your whining and start your winning. Be all you can be, baby.

Things are looking pretty narrow for Countrywide, jack. Now that Bank of America (BOA for short, and yeah ... it's appropriate that the bank acronym is a kind of snake) has bought out Countrywide, they are giving the ax to 7,500 of CW's staff. It’s just about the final nail in the coffin, and all because they were loaning a bunch of dough to subprime borrowers. Before you know it, their whole deal blew apart like a house of cards in a windstorm.

Debt can bring down even the billion-dollar companies, baby. It's like a bunch of anchors on a sailboat ... too much of either one will sink you. Debt may give you a quick taste of the "good life", but then it bites you in the backside 10 times as hard. Think I'm full of it? Ask Countrywide. Think I'm wrong? Try it yourself.

Stay away from debt. It brings problems, not prosperity. Catch you on Monday, suckers.

Some joes just don't know when to call it quits. Exhibit A is in Z-country. As in the Zimbabwe elections. Current prez Robert Mugabe is pushing 85 and still going as the head honcho, but the problem is that he's throwing his weight around and scaring off the competition at gunpoint. His chief rival, Morgan Tsvamgirai, says Mugabe has been beating his supporters and running people off. Vote can't work, see?

Doing things a certain way and having nothing but a wreck to show for it. Sound like your money situation? I'm not being trivial about the violence, jack ... I'm pointing out how there needs to be a change in a bad situation if good things are gonna happen. Mug's mug doesn't need to be showing itself around there anymore. Time to move on to better things.

If you're doing the iron fist routine at your house and insisting that it be your way or the highway, then maybe someone needs to run YOU out of town, bub. There's only one guy who needs to run the whole show, and His name ain't you. Get with your other half, get a budget going and work together. Capiche?

I quote George Carlin - "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." I'm laughing a little less this morning because old GC got fitted for a pine overcoat this weekend at age 71. He had more quickfire sayings than most, and just about all of them can't be punched in on my family-style blog, baby. Tough luck.

Sure, Carlin was edgier than a high-strung salesman at the end of the month who's short on sales and long on caffeine. But me being me, I decided to put a spin on his quote. The answers really are up to you. Either way, whether you say I can or I can't ... you're right.

So which one are you gonna do? When you see something that you like or want, are you gonna listen to all the stiffs who say you can't get it? I don't care if you talk yourself up or talk yourself into it, but get fired up about getting something done. Thicken up that skin, toughen up that resolve, and burn down anything in your way. Got a problem with that?

This one was a stupid tax that didn't cost any dough ... just a whole lotta life. Seems a dozen and a half dames at Gloucester High School made a pact with each other to get pregnant so they could all raise the kids together. None of them are over 16. These babes a for a rude awakening ... at about 2 a.m., complete with a diaper-filled surprise.

I shouldn't joke. This is a sad thing, when you consider that the school principal said these girls lack self-esteem and a lot of love in their lives. They feel like this is the way to belong to something and have something to take care of. Maybe baby-sitting is a good way to kill an afternoon and make a couple of bucks, but these chicks have no idea what they're in for.

Keep an eye on your kids ... every last one of you that has one and is reading this. The second you short-change your kid for love and attention, the second they get down on themselves and start diving into the stupid pool. You put the family first and don't look back, jack. Find out what they're doing. Encourage them if it's right. Bust 'em if it's wrong. Love 'em til you die.

Start 'em early, and keep 'em there often. When kids start learning about how the dough works, it's like taking Instant Responsibility powder and adding water. It was a barrel of fun to be surfing around this morning and stumble on the story of this school in DC that's offering a paycheck to each kid who makes the grade, keeps their attitude in check and does the homework.

Kids who know how to make and spend their own grease are a lot more savvy than a kid who just takes a dollar from daddy and drops in the church collection basket, see? Kids KNOW they've worked for money when they finished cleaning their room and get their cash handed to them. They take a boatload of pride in giving to charity when they earned it. They'll be careful in spending and deliberate in saving when they are going for that G.I Joe with the kung-fu grip.

Don't be afraid to make your kids work and have them on commission. Not boot camp ... just work and earn. Isn't that how the real world works?

Me and Dave Ramsey teach you to pay your bills, no matter how past due they are. And you don't get much later than this, baby. Try 350 years late ... and the folks who were behind on their bills are none other than the Royal Family.

That's right, jack. The clan headed up by Queen Elizabeth II of England and Prince Charles just settled up with some company that made uniforms for the king's troops in 1651. The final tab came to a shade over 453 pounds (about 885 in cold, hard American cash), but the Royals stiffed the clothing company (I can see it now ... Ye Olde GAP) until now. They just paid in full, but didn't get back-charged for the interest, which is a lot more than I can say for your average joe who gets a big-screen for 90 days same-as-cash and misses the payoff date.

Just goes to show, joe ... when you get into debt, the collectors will find you. If this bill was any older, Monty Python would try to collect it on his way to find the Holy Grail. If you have old debt, it's down but not out. Get on a monthly budget and get control of your cash, then sink your past dues one by one. Right!

OK, this puts us at threat level: midnight. I'm not doing the Chicken Little thing; it's just my usual budget reminder, baby. Crude hit 139 bucks a barrel, gas prices hit $4 a gallon over the weekend, and it's hitting us where we hurt.

What I'm about to say is more twisted than a high school nerd's shorts after running into the football bully near the goalpost, but this might actually be a GOOD thing for most joes and jills out there. With gas prices being higher than a helium-filled Space Shuttle, it's the first time most people have looked at their checkbooks in a loooooooong while.

If that's what it takes to get people to pay attention, then have at it. If they cut out the morning latte to afford gas, then they'll start thinking about what else they can trim to get ahead. Carpooling. Coupons. Run around the block instead of paying $100 to do it on a health club treadmill. Think about what you REALLY need each day. If you can get by without it, then deep-six it so you can do some debt reduction. Once you're debt free and want some of the fun stuff back, then we'll talk.

I'm sure some joes and jills out there right now are saying "first, there was sliced bread. Now, Clinton Obama!" Might as well call them Clobama ... all celebrity couples have the unified name. And speaking of unified, word is that these two want to do just that and punch a one-way, one-two ticket to the White House in November.

Do you know how much these two will help you solve your prob - THEY WON'T!!! I don't care if it's Clobama, ObaMcCain, McClinton, or Ed McMahon showing up at your door with one of those oversized checks ... your stuff will get better when you learn how to get control of your dough. You wouldn't say your lawn is gonna look better when Home Depot's stock goes up, so why do you think your money troubles will get better when stiffsuits get stuck in office?

Somebody who tightens up their budget and saves a thousand bucks in one month will be in better shape than some yahoo who spends a month sitting on his hands, thinking that Washington is going to get some business going for him. As far as taking care of you and yours goes, step up and start it up.

Looks like Ed McMahon needs his own $10 million lottery jackpot, jack. The word is out that Mr. American Family Publisher sweepstakes, Carson sidekick, Star Search host is down $644,000 in mortgage payments on his Beverly Hills digs. Worse still, he's headed straight for foreclosure if he doesn't produce the cash soon.

I know, I know ... I got the same finger-in-a-light socket shock when I read it, too. Sure, Mac's been down on his luck. He hasn't worked in a while, even broke his neck a year and a half ago. But there's more to it than that. Even though he made gobs of dough over his career, he still made the dumb goof of tapping into his house equity and taking out loans.

Just because you make lots of money doesn't mean you're safe. You could make a ton and still owe a ton and a half. If you ain't got debt, then the only joe who's gonna come knocking at your door looking for money is the pizza man. Would you want to deal with all this junk when you're 85 years old? Didn't think so ... so stay away from borrowing, because that puts you there. I'm out.

I've gone out with a few dames in my day, and I'm all about dinner and a movie. But the right one hasn't come along. And for a guy pushing 40, I'm about average. At least that's the trend. Word is out that most joes are steering clear of tying the noose ... er, knot ... because they don't want to get mixed up with the wrong babe, baby.

The more you stop and think about that one, the more sense it makes. Even if you're feeling lonely and singing the blues, you don't really come out ahead by trading that for a bad marriage where your partner gets on your nerves. And don't give me any fuss about "at least you've got someone". I've been in bad relationships. Without one, at least you don't have to fight over the remote.

You gotta find the way that works for you. Flying solo or going the DeBeers route. Choosing the right job. Doing the debt reduction thing.

Notice that I didn't give any options on that last one. Wanna know why? Because going into debt for a set of wheels or carrying a credit card balance doesn't work best for anyone. If you owe dough to someone, then they are bankrolling you. They own you. Talk about a bad relationship!