Looks like the boys in Washington are trying to keep another Enron from dropping into your lap, jack. On the table in DC is a pitch to give the stiffsuits the power to look through the books of any financial institution to see if it's a bomb waiting to go off and splatter trouble everywhere. They're calling it a way to combat the "severe credit crisis" that's going on.

Don't think for a half second that Washington can fix a credit crisis. The government couldn't fix breakfast if someone ordered cereal and milk, hold the cereal. The only credit ca-ca you need to worry about combating is yours, and it's up to you.

I know what you're saying ... ME? How can I do anything? Have a seat and I'll explain jack; slowly. You ditch credit by not using it. You don't do it by using money that ain't yours and then expecting the law to cover your tracks. Stay away from what you can't afford. As long as you live on less dough than you make, you'll always have enough

You've heard me say it before; March Madness is about as golden as it gets. But it ain't gold for everybody, baby. Just ask Ben Braun, head coach for the California Golden Bears (IRONY) basketball team. Even though he's got 12 years under his belt at that job, along with 5 trips to the Big Dance, he was pink-slipped by the athletic director for not taking the program far enough.

Just goes to show, joe, that the past doesn't guarantee the future. You got to prove yourself each day. Your job is secure when you do it better than anyone, day in and day out. Just like Dave Ramsey says ... everybody's on straight commission. If you don't think you are, try not showing up to work for a few weeks. They'll ax you faster than a hockey-masked psycho at a summer camp.

Here's another tidbit: don't just show up for work ... work while you're at work. The boss will notice if you're leading the race or just taking up space. Work is actually fun when you get into it, so find something you dig doing and then shoot for the stars.

So there I am ... hospital smock, booties, the whole nine. A good friend of mine just popped out a little tyke, and is glowing like a 150-watt bulb. Most joes and jills cry with pride when that happens, but they might cry for another reason when they read this story about how it'll cost over $200,000 to raise a child born in 2007.

You got bottles and diapers. Daycare and football uniforms. Prom and college. That's translates to a pretty hefty tab over the next 18 years. But it can be done. It just takes a plan. That's why it's important to keep on top of your dough.

When you know what has to be done, you can do it. If you need some extra cash for the birthday gifts, cut the budget or pick up a grass-cutting job one weekend. It's hard, but worth it. In the meantime, raise your kids to take care of themselves. The sooner they know how to make money and manage it themselves, the sooner they can punch their ticket to prosperity in life.

When you're working Dave's plan and hit Baby Step 5, start pumping dough into the educational savings account. Throw 166 smackers a month into it, and it'll turn into 126 large by the time little Jimmy is ready for a big-time college. Game, set, match.

I'm goin' a different route today. You know the drill ... I pick a topic, jabber on about how it's stupid that ladies and gents aren't saving dough, or how it was great that a grandmother on a walker fought off a two-bit mugger. But today, I'm diggin' deeper, baby.

The word from the newsboys is that Starbucks has to fork over 100 million smackers in back tips to its baristas (the ones who make the cups of joe, jack). Supposedly, store supervisors have been dipping their fingers into the tip jar, and the apron wearers are miffed about it (which I can understand).

But skip down 10 paragraphs or so, and the boys from the press say that Starbucks is trying to revive its biz amid the sagging economy. Now, I don't think the economy is tanking by any stretch, but could it be that people are wising up? They're pinching pennies more because they realize they need to save money and quit blowing 5 on a decaf Arabian Mocha Sanani with a double shot of cream and no sugar? Maybe.

Either way, saving up ain't a bad thing to start doing. That latte money you drop each day will turn into almost 1.2 million in 40 years if you put it into a good mutual fund instead. Make it happen.

It's an original, jack ... my gift to the NCAA Tournament. Sing along and enjoy.

It's the most wonderful time of the year
When teams go a shootin'
And fans go a hootin'
And drink lots of beer
It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's the most happiest season of all
With small teams and upsets
And millions in lost bets
And shouts to end all
It's the most happiest season of all

It's tournament time in the U.S. of A.
Where we will be free
To watch our Dickie V
Shout out yeah, yeah baby!
It's March Madness time ... on TV!

I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress, and deep-six your debt.

If they had done it Dave's way, this wouldn't have happened. First TJ Maxx, now some grocery stores in Florida and the Northeast got hacked into by some wiseguy. Next thing you know, credit card numbers are stolen, fraud is being committed, and you got more headaches than a migraine convention next to a construction site during sinus season, baby.

You know what the problem with something like this is? Well, there's a bunch, but I'll just hit the highlights. Each time you open a credit card, you open yourself up to something like this. But people just keep signing up for the free hats and brownie points. When that happens, they have debt AND identity theft to worry about. Handling your dough can and should be easier than that. So make it easier. Use cash.

Don't have your 411 info anywhere that you don't have to. I never saw anyone who lifted a wallet from somebody and tried to pass himself off as Andrew Jackson or Ben Franklin.

Who's it gonna be, baby? Which low-seeded team in this year's March Madness NCAA Tournament is gonna put on the glass slipper and Cinderella-ize the 64? Let's face it ... that's really what makes the bracket into pure gold. You know the drill. No. 3 plays No. 14, and little Joe Shortstack hits the pullaway with 1.5 ticks left to seal the win for the underdogs.

The word on the street is that UCLA is going to take home the title (unless you're a Tar Heel, Jayhawk or Tiger). As far as my money goes, since the Cubs aren't playing ... I'll put my green on the orange. I'll leave it up to you joes and jills to figure out which shade I'm talkin' about.

Just remember one thing, jack. Before I filled out my brackets, I filled out my bankbook. I didn't get distracted from my money by what was on TV. Before I turned on Selection Sunday, the budget was filled out and the plan was set. It's a lot easier to put your mind at ease when you know that the chores are done. Don't put it off, baby. Plan your dough now, and cruise from there.

New look, same purpose, bub. The $5 bill is the newest bill to get a total money makeover. Sure, it may just look like a kid pulled out a crayon and doodled a little on it, but the new looks ain't bad. It's got a splash of purple, some gray near the edges, blends in nicely with the old-school green. I'd say more, but I don't want to sound like I'm trying out for the new season of "Project: Runway", baby.

As long as the fin is getting a new look, you might as well follow suit. No, I don't mean a new wardrobe either, jack. I mean get your own total money makeover. Get in the know with your dough. Tell your moolah what to do-lah. Use some green to get out of the red. Talley up what you pay each month in bills, and picture keeping it all in your bank account. Freaky, ain't it?

Start today, and you'll be there in 2 years, tops. Quit waiting, bub ... DO IT! GET THERE! It's right around the corner.

Guess after you've been eating coconuts for a few decades, anything looks good. Did you see this one? Dawn Wells, the dame better known as Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, was busted in October for possession of pot. Yep, that's right ... Mary Ann had Mary Jane.

She got 5 days in the pen (where there was no phone, no lights, no motor car; not a single luxury) and is on probation for 6 months. Maybe I shouldn't be too hard on her ... I'll bet playing second fiddle to Ginger drives a dollface to do crazy things.

Most of us will have a laugh about this stupid decision, then go back to taking out car loans and using credit cards to buy a bunch of crap we don't need. Dope destroys your brain, but it takes almost as much brain damage to think that using debt like this is a good idea. Lesson for the day: quit doing stupid and you'll start doing better.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to relax with a Doobie ... Brothers album.

I remember growing up in the south side of Chi-town, baby. Mom and Dad made sure we were all well fed and had what we needed. But I didn't learn until a few years after leaving the homestead of how they made it happen ... they sacrificed. Coupons were clipped, leftovers were eaten and lights were turned out when you left the room.

My dad used to catch a ride each morning with a buddy from work to save gas money. Funny how things stay the same, because that's what tons of joes and jills are doing today. With gas prices going up as high and often as a 6-year-old girl playing jump rope, train travel (well, mass transit travel, if you're counting) hit its highest numbers since Ike was president. Sure, it may be a little inconvenient, but it's a dough saver if there ever was one.

Sit down tonight and ask yourself what you could be doing better for your family, jack. Cut a little here, stem a little there and watch your wallet. It makes a big-time difference. If hitching a ride to work saves enough cash to buy more vegetables for your kids, then you'll get an even bigger and brighter smile when you tuck 'em in at night.

There ... catching the 7:30 doesn't look so bad anymore, does it?

Standing up for yourself. Not being denied. Telling the naysayers to stick it. Nothing quite like that, is there? Some times, you gotta be braver than others. Like this Saudi dollface who decided to plug International Women's Day by driving a car.

What's that, you say? How is that a big deal (and no wise cracks about being scared at the thought of a dame behind the wheel)? What's great about this story is that there's a law in Aladdin country that prevents women from driving. That law is as stupid as they come, and this lady is going against the current and saying it's time for a change. She even YouTubed herself doing it.

Free tip for the day, ladies and germs. Go against the current. Be weird. You don't have to be ultra-brave like this lady and defy death ... just debt. Take one for the team and get your money act together. If she can do this, you can do that, see? Either way, you make the most out of life.

See this one? The headline screaming that health care costs for a couple retiring this year will total somewhere around $225,000 throughout their golden years? I'm sure some broke people will feel wedgied up over that one, but not me. I'll be coasting through my last 10 or 20 birthdays. And you know where I learned about saving from? My granddad.

That's right ... old J.D. lives in Columbus, Ohio and is pushing 90. He beat the streets as a mail carrier for a few decades (never making big bucks, just knowing what to do with it) and used to save his tips from a side job at the horse track for the whole year to buy us Christmas presents. He fought in WWII and had a wife and son die on him.

But he's still plugging along because he never got the "poor me" attitude. He kept happening to his life and his money, and when he called it quits at age 65, he got a big slice of dignity to go along with that retirement of his.

As far as he cares, health care costs can shoot through the roof if they want ... he can handle it. Why? Because he let his dough know who was in charge. When you're worth 7 figures, then shelling out 225k for doc bills is like a walk in the park on a sunny day with balloons, baby. Start saving now and start cruising later.

I'm stepping outside the money track today. I'm not sure where the belt is, but this shot is below it. This one got me so ticked, I could have choked a golden calf with my bare hands, bub.

According to some bookworm in Israel (emphasize the "worm" part), Moses was hopped up on drugs when he heard God give him the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai. Mr. Researcher says it wasn't a supernatural thing that Moses saw, just a hippy dippy episode. If that ain't enough, this two-bit yahoo says Mo was probably reefed up when he saw the burning bush, too.

Think about that for a sec ... one of the Bible's defining moments, one of its greatest stories, and someone's trying to throw cold water on the deal. Some people just don't have their heads screwed on right. I say the meeting between the people's leader and The Big Guy was the real deal. Anyone care to weigh in?

2008 Presidential Election. Obama. McCain. Clinton. Huckabee. Either. Or. Point? Vote.

Capiche?

Pop quiz, big-shot. What's 44 years old, made in Japan and can easily mop the floor? It's Kazumi Izaki, a mother of 2 who has just become the oldest pro boxer in the Land of the Rising Sun. By the way, that "mopping" the floor part? That's what she'll do to anyone who steps into the ring with her.

This dame had one of the best quotes I've ever heard when it comes to calling it quits. "I wanted to show my children that if you give up, then you're washed up!" My hat's off to you, dollface. If more people had the attitude of 'I'd do some whipping if I wasn't so whipped', then this crazy world would be a better place.

It's never ... but NEVER ... too late to start, bub. The maddest I ever got was when my uncle Vinny turned 40 and was still working in the mailroom. He figured that was as high as he was gonna go, so he got down on himself and did just enough to get by each day. If he had busted it for a few years after that, he could have had the office job and the salary to match.

Point is this. If you still got ticks left on the clock, then make 'em count. Things can only go up if you're smart, see? Get up, get mad and get going to get what you want. 'Til next time ...