I wish I'd have been there, baby. Hearing one of the great minds of our time (the one and only Stephen Hawking) talk about life in outer space and on other planets at George Washington U yesterday. The whole gig was set up in honor of NASA's golden anniversary. It was funny to hear the Hawk talk about alien abduction and hi-tech weapons. I half expected Scotty to pop out and yell "Ahm gevin' 'er ahl ah got ... but ahm stehl losin' pouwer, Captain!"

Odds are there's life out there, Hawking says, but it's unintelligent. The lab boys always say that. I prefer "dumber than a bag of hammers". I don't know ... it's just got more punch to it, see?

Anyway, what am I saying? We don't need to go to other planets to find unintelligent life ... we got it stockpiled right here. You get the offers in the mail every day for credit cards. You pass by some nickel-and-dime payday loan company on your way to work. Any yahoo who thinks you need jazz like this to get ahead with the dough has a PhD in D-U-M-B.

If you owe cash to people, you can't save it or invest it. Last time I looked, people with money keep money instead of forking it over. Dig?