I'm not in the mood for a lot of talking today, jack. So I'll be quick and let you joes and jills get on with your day. The World Health Organization is ballparking that cigarette smoke will kill a billion people by the year 2100.

I say a fair price for a carton of smokes is 40 bucks. Sucking down a pack a day means you'll blow $120 a month on cancer sticks. If you invest that kind of dough from age 20 to age 75 (and you might live that long if you don't smoke), it'll be the year 2063, and you'll have $8.5 million in cold, hard cash, see?

Want some real kicks and giggles? Invest that money from now until the year that 1 billion people are projected to be pushing up daisies, and it'll be worth almost $708 million. Hope you like the smokes!