Bad news, boys. A new study out says that men who are living together with their dames do more housework then guys who are married to their gals. Too bad that cooking the bacon and cleaning the bathroom ain't the only things that go into a relationship; things would be right as rain.

But I digress, baby. Time to go into angry daddy mode. The ring needs to be on the finger before you pull your car into the driveway at night. I'm not saying get married so you can do less housework. But if you aren't hitched yet and buy a house or a car with the person you're living with, you're in for a world of hurt if the two of you split.

It brings up something else, bub. There's a difference between tying the knot and tying the noose. If you're married, it doesn't give you a free ride. Both people in a marriage need to work at it. That means talking, pitching in at home, making a budget and working together on everything. Got a problem with that?

Anyone else have a problem with this besides me? I did a double-take today when I saw that Leona Helmsley, the hotel magnate who kicked off last week at age 87, left 12 million bucks ... to her dog! Granted, it's her dough, but how would you feel if you were one of the grandkids who got a big fat goose egg laid on them, but Fluffy takes the cake?

At least she had some dough to leave behind. But what about you, bub? Are you deep-sixing your consumer debt and saving your moolah so you have some to leave to the yung 'uns? Are you following the Baby Steps so you can invest and change that family tree of yours?

If you are, kudos to you. If you ain't, then quit wasting time reading my blog, baby. Make it happen.

Baby got back ... and front, and just about everywhere else, too. At least that's the word from the boys in Washington on how big America's waistline is. The latest report is out, and it looks like some states need some big-time obesity help.

What am I saying ... SOME? Only 2 states have less than 20% body fat. Looks like Jenny Craig is gonna be in business for a while.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for some good eats. But you need to draw a line somewhere, baby. It's the same deal with your dough. If you live a fat wallet lifestyle on a lean wallet budget, then you'll get overloaded with debt and it'll weigh you down.

Why do that to yourself? Have some discipline, jack. Learn how to say no when you can't afford something.

I don't know about you, baby ... but I'm a sucker for chocolate covered. So I got some good news today. After a few dozen years of artery-attacking goodness, all Dunkin Donuts centers will be cooking up their goods with a new kind of trans-fat free cooking oil. They've made the pledge to deep-six all of their trans fat by October 15 using this stuff, see?

Keep something in mind, jack. Even though DD is dumping the TF ... that doesn't mean somebody's losing the weight for you. If you eat there every day, you'll still be packing on the pounds. If you want thinner, then get this through your thick skull ... making things better (from your waistline to your wallet) means stepping up and fixing things yourself.

It's just like with debt. You think somebody's gonna pay all your bills off for you? Bologna, buddy. It's you or it's no one, see? It takes you to cut up the credit cards. It takes you to make a budget. IT ... TAKES ... YOU! Do ... you ... dig?

Life turned ugly for this dollface in a New York minute. Silver screen star Kirsten Dunst started her day like any other day. Got up and went to work; came home and found her digs had been turned upside down by a couple of lowlifes who broke in and stole a handbag worth 13 grand, some cash, a cell phone ... the whole nine.

Scariest part? The sticky-fingered suckers took some credit and identity cards, too. That means KD might need some IDTP ... as in identity theft protection, baby. Not many things are scarier than some yahoo getting a hold of all your personal info and running up a bunch of debt.

Keep an eye on your personal effects, bub. It's the only way you can lose your dough faster than being ripped off by using credit cards. Think about it, and have a good weekend. I'm out.

Pop quiz, hotshot. What's the quickest way to make the football news at the Division III college level? Answer: make the team as a 59-year-old man who's almost ready to collect Social Security. That's the deal with ageless wonder Mike Flynt, who made the squad for the Sul Ross State Lobos in Alpine, Texas. It's inspiring, all right. This joe gave the NCAA a shot of AARP.

Since Flynt is in, let me drop a little reminder. It's never too late to start. I don't care if you're 19 or 59, jack. After you've deep-sixed your consumer debt and have some dough in place, get started on funding your retirement. The more you put in there, the better your retirement income will be.

Do it well enough, and you can spend your golden years griping about your favorite football team ... instead of playing for them. But, to each his own, baby.

Was it worth it? That's the question this yahoo has got to be asking herself. I know that Dave Ramsey is always talking about throwing pizzas to get out of debt, but he didn't mean to throw away your future at the same time.

Some dame in Nashville decided to forge a tip for 10 bucks when the customer who bought a pan pizza from her paid with a credit card. Now she's facing a felony charge. The good news is that she only has to do it 250 more times to post her bail, baby.

This one's a laundry list of don'ts. Don't be dishonest. Don't pay with plastic and this won't happen to you. Don't think you can shortcut your way to piles of dough. It ain't worth it.

Who let the dogs out? A certain NFL quarterback should have. Now, because he didn't, it seems like the Michael Vick picture is one that shows him headed to the pen. Talk about stupid tax ... Vick chose a cruel pastime to get a few kicks, and now it's costing him a ton of dough in lawyer fees, not to mention a stretch in the cooler and a career that's 6 feet under.

Here's an insider tip. Check out what you're doing in your free time (or with your money) and ask yourself this: Could it cost me? If the answer is yes, then back off, baby. It could be any one of a number of things. If you're not spending time with your spouse or kids, you'll have trouble on the home front. If it's your spending, remember that there's only so much moolah to go around before you get yourself in debt. It only takes one lost credit card payment to get them to jack up your interest rate. It ain't worth it, jack. Don't be a sucker.

Monday was the big check-out day for hotel big-shot Leona Helmsley, who got her own wooden Waldorf room at age 87. It's a far cry from her 9-bedroom penthouse digs overlooking Central Park, but some people might say it's a fitting end for the "queen of mean", see? Since 1989, LH was dogged by being a jerk to people and for being sent to the cooler for 21 months on tax evasion charges. She may have helped out some charities here and there, but no one talks about that.

Is that how you wanna be remembered, baby? Didn't think so. So don't be ... do some good in this crazy world. Of course, you can do a lot more good if you're out of debt. But it doesn't start with the dough; it starts with the heart. Have one. It's the stuff that dreams are made of.

It may or may not be hurricane season, but don't tell that to Dean. As in Hurricane Dean, which is making a beeline for the Tex/Mex coast. With all the drama that happened with Katrina and Rita a couple of years ago, everyone is bracing for a big one. It's a shame when you have to see the worst to know that you need to prepare for the worst. And I'm not just talking about Mother Nature, see? Life can hit you with a car wreck, a sick relative and a job loss ... and that's just before breakfast. So be ready for life's little curve balls.

Here are some quick tips for when an emergency is due to hit, jack. Have an emergency fund ready. Be debt-free. Spend less dough than you make. Wait ... those are things you should be doing anyway. And it doesn't even take a hurricane to make it happen. Get my point, jack?

Stupid criminals. Jay Leno can't get enough of 'em, and neither can I, bub. Today's winner is the dame from Georgia who called the cops after she got jipped on a street drug buy. That's right ... she plunked down 20 bucks for some cocaine, then got home and smoked a piece, see? It was then that she discovered the drug was fake, and called in the coppers to help her get her money back. I'll tell you this ... if Darwin's theory is right, then I'm not sure how this lady made the cut.

Time to crack (snicker) a joke. This might be the only time when I say that the purchase was dumber than the stupid tax that went with it. Don't be a sucker and fall into the same trap, jack. Just say no to stupid. It may be drugs or credit cards. Either one is hazardous to your health.

We're close to the best time of the year, jack. Starts with football season and ends with Christmas. And what better way to kick things off (pun) than with Madden 08. The annual rush is on since the game's being released today, see? At 60 bucks a pop, I think it's a little overpriced. But if you've saved the cash for it instead of putting it on some stupid credit card at 18%, then you won't hear anything from me about it.

Unless, that is ... you spend more time scoring touchdowns than you do making a budget and knowing where your dough is going. I'll keep punching the point home until every joe and jill around here gets it. Playing games is fun, but winning the VG Super Bowl today won't feed you 10 years from now. Managing your money will.

So quit thinking that Madden is better than moolah. Only real-life QBs make a lot of dough playing, and I don't see a number on your back, jack.

Lucky 13. That's what Tiger Woods is saying to himself after taking home his 13th PGA tour trophy on Sunday. This kid's got a jump start on the record books to end all. At the ripe old age of 31, Tiger's assault on Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 major wins is so big and bad, his clubs should be considered deadly weapons, baby. But here's the deal ... most joes and jills would expect TW to be at this point in a decade or two. But he didn't feel like waiting that long.

Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't do good. You just need to be pointed in the right direction. I've seen 20-year-olds that were in better money shape then 70-year-olds. If you're getting good money advice today (and you are if you listen to Dave Ramsey), then you know that you don't need to be 55 years old and knocking down 80,000 smackers a year to be in the driver's seat with the dough. Anyone can do it. Start from where you are, and work the Baby Steps. Simple, simon.

For every issue of Bad News, a copy of Good News can't be far behind, baby. Today, the stock market news is this: the Dow Jones was going down last week because of credit tightness, but is UP today after getting an influx of cash from the Federal Reserve. The boys on the trading floor have got to be grinning ear-to-ear and breathing easier now that the green is on the scene.

So ... people get in a bad mood (i.e. a Dow Jones drop) when credit is factored in, but feel a lot better when they see the dough. Sound familiar? It should, jack ... it's what Dave Ramsey and yours truly have been preaching all along. Using credit cards and debt leads to more spending at best and nasty collector calls at worst. You don't have to worry about being over your limit when you use cash ... because you can't spend what you don't have. Think about it.

Ever notice how Dow is one letter away from down? Well, speaking of going south, that's what the Dow Jones did yesterday, dropping 387 points. But here's the reason: some French bank said it couldn't put a ballpark value on the assets of 3 subprime lenders. Seems subprime, and credit as a whole, is causing trouble on Wall Street. Where is Gordon Gekko to make it a complete circus?

Sounds to me like you can't spell subprime without sub, bub. As in bad, no-good, stupid, nothing but trouble ... sub. It's right down there with payday loan stores. If you're having trouble getting a loan for a house, don't go the subprime route. The interest rate will take your head off, baby. Rent for a while instead and save some dough. It's better to save money and do things in good time than to jump into a pile of trouble.

So, like Dave Ramsey says ... you play with snakes and you get bit. Even the severed head of one can mean big-time trouble. Don't believe me? Then believe this, bub ... it's a snake game to end all. Some joe in Washington state used a shovel to bump off a rattlesnake this week, cutting its head off. He reached down to pick the head up, and it curled up and bit him. He went to the hospital, got the venom shots ... the whole nine.

Just goes to show. Even a little bit of exposure to stupid can hurt you. Even if you want to use a credit card and pay it off at the end of each month, all it takes is one lost payment in the mail for MasterCard or Visa to take you to the cleaners. If you take a 90 days same-as-cash deal, you'll forget the payoff date and they'll backcharge you, baby. Don't be a sucker. Save money and stay away from debt.

A smart guy told me one time that the only consistent thing in life is change. Seems that's the case for the Orange Bowl stadium in Miami, jack. After 70 years, more national championships than you can shake a stick at, and Namath's Super Bowl guarantee, the OB might be 86'd because of its age. It's a sad day to even be talking about it, but we all get an issue of Bad News delivered to us sooner or later.

It takes a big joe or jill to step up to the plate and face the music. Whether it's a football stadium or a bad money situation, it won't get better unless you deal with it. I don't care if you've never seen a budget before, learn how to make one. I don't care if you have to cut the lifestyle, cutting out the debt is better than it drowning you like a pair of cement shoes.

Well, it's happened. Barry Bonds has now had 756 shots ... out of the ball park. BB did Hank Aaron one better last night as he popped a Mike Bacsik pitch over the right-center wall. People will be talking about the whole steroids deal for years to come, including yours truly. But say what you will; at the end of the day, Bonds knows how to swing a bat. He found what worked for him, and it paid off. Now he can needle ... his critics all he wants; he's getting the last laugh.

Take Dave Ramsey's Baby Step plan and knock it out of the park, jack. It's got all the juice you need to make things better for you and yours. Take the budget and step into the batter's box. Pay off debt and swing for the fences. Live a debt-free life and you'll come out on top every time. I don't plug it unless I believe it, baby ... and I'm plugging this like a federal witness who snitches.

Back on the blogroll, baby ... and loving every debt-free minute of it. Now that I'm back from vacation, I thought I'd dive right into the weirdest story I've seen in a while. The Dead Sea almost lived up to its nickname for this 6-year-old tyke, who got left behind by his family while on a trip. Floated 2 miles out to sea, see? It was only after nightfall that his dad noticed that he was gone, and by then it took an entire army to find him.

Know what your kids are doing? You sure-as-Betty better, bub. Your kid may not be floating out on the Dead Sea, but you need to keep an eye on what they're doing with their life ... and their moolah. They should start getting credit card offers about the time they're able to walk, and you need to rip those up about that same time. The sooner you lay down the rules for how the kids should spend, save and give, the happier they'll be, baby. Don't leave 'em to drown in debt someday.